A Moment of Sun

My parents arrived on Saturday to see Sage and spend a spring week in Park City. We did the Smith's rotisserie chicken and some taters thing last night, watched Forbidden Kingdom and off they went into a blizzard to get back to the Westgate Hotel. The call came just minutes later.
Ryan took off (in my car ;) ) with a shovel in hand to dig them out. My mom said she drove the rest of the way back to the Westgate at about 5mph and whiteknuckling all the way. Poor people. Coming from San Diego, they're not used to winter driving. To them, this is 'bad' weather. To skiers, we're in heaven. But, careful what you wish for.
I begged for "one more powder day" and I got two weeks of it! Ryan even took a vacation day from work to play in it last week. I've skied three of the best powder days of the season last week at Snowbird - even filmed at Brighton with Ritchie on Friday with waist deep swirling around me. Yeowza. The driveway had to be plowed three times in the last 24 hours. Need I go on? By Saturday, I was definitely ready to spend the day on the bunny hill with Sage and watch the pond skimmers.
Props to Ryan for being a major gentleman and rescuing my folks when they got their rental car stuck in a snowbank last night. The snow got deeper and deeper throughout the day and, instead of letting up like we thought, it got worse after dinner.Ryan was everyone's hero. I stayed back to watch Sage and clean the kitchen. God how traditional does that sound? When it comes to digging and pushing out a car, he wins. I'm still not changing my mind about his assuming that my car is his (it's not) or him wanting to lean on me before he tries to solve his own problems but I'm no longer angry.
Boy, was I fuming. I did wind up loaning him my car; he thanked me when he got home and I explained that it wasn't the car but his eager willingness to inconvenience me without ever attempting to find a better option (like getting a ride from a co-worker). I told him all he needed to do was to show he had made at least SOME kind of effort. BIG BUTTON issue. I have enough to do in my life without having to deal with damage control of his issues too (at least not before he tries to take care of them himself). We'll see what happens next time, of course, but today, he's my dreamboat again.
Gotta hit the shower now.I took my parents snowmobiling at Deer Valley's Garff Ranch and then we cruised through Kamas like tourists- buying home-smoked jerky and shopping at the New West Country Store. I dropped them at their hotel so I could grab Sage from the sitter's, shower and head back out for dinner. Whew. The last time they were here (a year ago), they complained of boredom. This time, they'll go home needing a vacation! :)

What Should I Do?

Ok, so maybe I'm the biggest bitch on wheels but I can't stand the fact that Ryan can't think or act for himself. It's like he assumes I've replaced his mommy but I'm not his mother and never will be. I don't exist for him; I don't exist to coddle him and make life easy for him. If I wasn't around, sure, he would find a way to handle trials on his own but because I am around and I'm good at navigating life, he sits back and lets me drive. I DON'T WANT TO DRIVE when he can. And, in this case, he can!

His car broke down tonight and he had it towed to a shop that told him it might be fixed tomorrow afternoon. So he spends all night playing hockey and drinking beer with buddies instead of finding a way to get to work in the morning. Why? Because he expects to take my new car and leave me at home all day. Sometimes I never leave the house so I wouldn't miss my car - but that's by choice. The fact that he had plenty of time to contact a co-worker who lives right around the corner from us and who could have given him a ride, leaves me livid. All because he doesn't want to get his ass out of bed a half-hour earlier in the morning?! If I was in the same sitch I would do whatever was easiest for everyone. I would, in fact, get up and catch a ride.
Of course, those who know me are saying, "Riiiight, Jill does what is easiest on her." Yes, to an extent that's true. But I also figure out a way to deal with a situation that makes the most sense for everyone. For example, I don't ask random people for a ride to the airport. I ask around to see if someone is already heading in that direction. If I couldn't get him to the airport, Ryan would park his car at the ParknJet even if it meant paying for a week there before he would try to find a ride. Instead of borrowing Ryan's car all the time while mine was getting fixed, I rented from Enterprise and they picked me up. If I'm hungry, I make myself something to eat. If Ryan's hungry, he'll order delivery or drive somewhere and buy himself dinner before he'd make even a sandwich or can of soup. He's wired to expect me (or women in general) to take care of him.

It would have been easier for Ryan to simply get a ride from someone who is already going in to his office but he's being selfish and expects me to enable his laziness. He'd rather assume I'll come to his rescue than for him to go out of his way and make some phone calls.
This is the same sh*t he did when he got his DUI and lost his license FOR THREE YEARS. He expected me to chauffeur him around instead of trying to catch rides from those heading in the same direction. In fact, there were more than a few times when I called MY friends and asked them to give him a ride because he "didn't want to impose on anyone." But it's ok to impose on me? Why is it that being a girlfriend means getting the raw end of the deal? Is it too much to ask to be treated the way he might treat a friend? With concern over imposing? Granted, the definition of "relationship" is 'never feeling like you're imposing' but that attitude truly sucks.

Would Ryan do the same for me?
The answer's yes. If I needed his car- for whatever reason- he would have me drive him to work (at 5:30 a.m.), drop him off and take his car. He wouldn't think twice about it. Wait a minute! Would he call and get a ride in to work and leave his car for me? Uh Uh. So I guess we can't say he'd do the same for me. Anyway, back to the analogy- he lends me his car when I won't lend mine. If it were that simple (and it NEVER is), of course he could take my car and I stay home for a day. The point I'm trying to make is that it's not about the car. It's about his unwillingness to use anyone but me. If he had made even a little effort to find a ride, I would have been willing to help. But no, he goes out and f*7ks around all night then comes home and asks for my car keys.
I've never been much of a sharer so you can't take my stuff without my permission and assume it's cool and you can't guilt me into giving it over. (Which he is now relentlessly doing.) I have to want to share.

He wants - and expects - me to carry his ass and it drives me nuts. Why are the men I date so unresourceful and ineffective?? I guarantee you that he plans to call in sick tomorrow rather than get up early and call his friend for a ride; just to try to make me out as the bad guy and subsequently blame me for the reason he lost a sick day. After six years, I know that program.

5 minutes later:

Looks like I was right (of course). He just walked into my office to announce he's "going to be hanging out" with me tomorrow. He's calling in sick.
What do I do, people? Let him lose the day and forever be the crappy girlfriend? Or give in and enable him to pull this act yet again?

Is Winter Over?

Totally fun weekend but I'm making this short and sweet cause this damn site just jettisoned my beautiful entry and forced me to rewrite everything- which I won't. No new snow since Tuesday. All's heating up super quick and super sick. Did a PSIA clinic up at Powder Mountain today and got a peek at the final day of the SuperFly snowkite event. If Pow wasn't two hours away, I might try to get back up there before the snow's gone and take a kite lesson. Powder is the first resort to designate a dedicated zone for snowkiting and Best Kites has set up a demo and training center up there for seasonal flying.
Groomers were sweet and soft. Off-piste, not so much. Yet our group leader forced us into the muck. Something about how it brings out the best in us because it forces you to focus on what your feet and legs are doing to survive. Riiiiight. Chunky, unforgiving, leg-turning rotten crud. It began to mush up by 2 p.m. and be more like spring slush but only had one run left in me by then. Now't he best time to take the tot skiing. Everytime Sage sees me dressed for the hill, she asks to come along. We finally took her up to Silver Lake Village at Deer Valley where I knew we could easily play on the magic carpet up there. She had a blast and so did we. This was her first time skiing in front of me (I skied backwards to keep her from taking off down the hill).
More to come I'm sure now that it's sooooo warm out.